Closure is the deadly C on post-break-up situations. How you do it remains a question unanswered for people who don’t have the intentions of moving on… or at least don’t have the capacity to move on because the pain remains a hunting force.

It has been two and half months since the “break-up” and it was not easy. I’ve tried to make myself busy over the months. Though enrolled only in one subject, I thought of so many things to keep myself occupied so as not to make my mind linger on what happened.  I made a drive on doing my course project so as to exempt myself from taking the finals. I made errands for my beloved auntie to keep myself useful for other people. It gives me a satisfying feeling of helping others around.

I visited my former boarding house more often after the relationship. I need their constant company to carry me through. Not much to talk about of what happened. I just need people around me. I meet with friends from high school. I go with my roomate when strolling on campus to have the diversion I  needed. I jog on campus, a routine which I lost when I was in the relationship. I have browsed through the internet for useful tips on moving on and finding conclusions… and staying there.

I have done everything in my capacity to move on. But closure is not really rushed. It does not give a time frame. It does not set deadlines. And as I read through articles and tips, I found out that there’s a lot of more contradicting advice which can mislead one in believing that it can be effective.

Bottomline is…closure is achieved when we let go. One article related a story of a man who spent two years with his partner. It was a perfect relationship from the start. There was compatibility. But things went rough somewhere in between that ended it eventually. Two years have passed after they parted ways and then one day, the man received a text message from the woman inviting him for dinner. He agreed. It turned out that the woman was engaged. She just needed an assurance that everything is through on them and they both have moved on. After the dinner, the woman gave the man a hug. A long hug that lasted for about a minute.

The closure phase is a difficult stage especially when one has earned a special mark in one’s life. Somewhere we know that the intimacy we shared is still there. But closure is achieved when we learn to live on our own again, when we accepted to let go.

Friendship is the best course of a failed relationship. It will be very hard at the beginning because we always have the tendency of wanting more out of it.  It just means that we are not ready yet. But with time, the best option is to have the friendship developed again – that is closure at its best.